The dog days of summer have hit. What better way to fight back than to waste time reading completely stupid yet amusing news stories. We're here to bring you a few of our favorites.

Nick's Top Stories

  • Undercover KittenFred, the undercover kitten who helped bust a veterinarian scam in New York, was recently hit by a car. So much for Karma. Maybe he could have been saved by a nearby vet, if only he hadn't put them all in jail. Not sure if that's irony, but it's close enough.

  • Cyclops BabyWarning: This may be disturbing to some.A baby was born in India with a rare genetic disorder that resulted in her having one eye, no nose, and brain with both hemispheres fused together. It is believed this might have been caused by an experimental cancer drug her mother was taking. Read the full story at Wired.

  • Speak RumsfeldianLearn to speak Rumsfeldian. Maybe someday you can impress your friends with statements like this:

    Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know.

Zack's Top Stories

  • Hillary Clinton in a Sex MuseumWhy in god's name did they make this? Please someone tell me.

  • Start Your Own CultEver want to have your own little army of faithful servants? Here are tips on how to start your own cult. Could definitely have some benefits.

  • Mysterious Break-in/CleaningIf I came home to a cleaned house, and nothing was stolen, I probably wouldn't think twice. I actually wish it happened more often.

  • Kid I Went to School With Wins $100kThis is a pretty sweet story. Micah Ernst, who was in a couple of my web classes at RIT, recently won $100,000 (one hundred thousand dollars) in a video game tournament. I don't know about you, but I'm pissed my parents didn't let me play tons of video games as a child. I could have been a contender! Anyways, I'm super happy for Micah. Though I'm sure most of that money will end up going to RIT (damn you, tuition).

Josh's Top Stories

  • Avoiding the Issues
    This is what you get for calling me fat on national television you jerk.

  • I think I'm Turning JapaneseThough a little creepy, this is a pretty wild Java app put together by researchers in the the Comp Sci Department at University of St. Andrews. Upload a photo of yourself, friends, family members, and well...change their race. Honestly, I make a pretty good looking Afro-Caribean dude.

  • Will Farrel Hates Freedom/America/Christianity/NASCAR/The SouthAfter just seeing Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby last night, I was tickled to stumble across this review from Ted Baehr. "Will Hollywood and the news media repudiate Will Farrell’s ridicule of Southern white Christian males as well as Mel Gibson’s Anti-Semitic comments? Don’t hold your breath!" Good one Ted.